fondue... orgasmic!!


at the short moments while eating. I thought i died and went to heaven. damn good

anddddd.............

i just recieved good news! one of my best friends getting married on 07.08.09 nice date! so excited.

lastly.......

my bday's tml!! am old........ sigh

Labels: Friends

- Fairy Games -

For you:

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you're distraught and in pain
Without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes,
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone It's ok

Won't you say
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down Don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need
To prevail

And when the wind blows And shadows grow close
Don't be afraid. There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you, You'll never pull through
Don't hesitate... Stand tall and sayI can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

I know you feel tired sometimes you dont even feel the need to go on trying. But there are people out there who still cares about you. You are stronger than you think. Everything will turn out fine in the end.

- Fairy Games -

春天散步夏天看海秋天数落叶
一直没有烦恼
一直没有争吵...
让每天像糖一样甜
冬天飘雪我是棉被温暖你的夜
一直在你身边一直爱到永远
你就负责靠着我的肩

This song never fails to make me smile.
I can almost hear u singing it in my ear and the image of us at esplanade with all those lanterns. *smiles*

Labels: Relationships

- Fairy Games -

time for updates... my blog growing spiderwebs already. I got a new hp!! Nokia E65 she bought it for me. So sweet we both got the same phones only different colour. I took the more manly Mocha colour while she took the super gay Red colour rofl. Good phone though. Has wifi, adobe reader and loads of stuff. slim too!

I have this crazy pnk fetish. I love everything pink. and its the sweet baby pink. I used to detest pink. Goodness. I even bought this satin pink halter top. Since when do i wear pink? but oh well whatever... its dirt cheap and nice. Pink laptop anyone? Bday prezzie? lol

My bdae's coming up... this sat. Then it will be the 5th Oct. What to get u for ur bday prezzie? what to wear for ur dinner?


*you make me wana la la...

Labels: Friends, Misc

- Fairy Games -

E called. Asking me bout some website... the whole conv. was bout the website and it didnt take longer than 3 mins. After we hung, i sat there...... expecting to feel something... a rush of emotions, a wave of sadness... but........ nothing. My only thought was she still sounds the same. Should i tell you she called? In the end i did i told you.

I'm over her. And i'm glad. =)


I've finished a chapter and turned the page... now i'm looking forward to many more new chapters with you.

Labels: Misc

- Fairy Games -

I've been so tempremental lately i cant stand myself. I dont understand myself half the time. Too many things going through my head which makes me really think i'm fucked in the brains worse than i thought. I think its gotta do with the monthlies these emotional outbursts. Like seriously... who has a meal in Mac and suddenly feel like crying? Me! see how screwed i am? It doesnt help that i always feel depressed near my bday. damn.

I have so many things running amok that i dont know where to start nor what to think about. If you would think that i'm hard to descipher last time, i'm pretty much worse now. I'm irritated with myself. Very irritated.

*Thanks for all the sweet wonderful things u have done to ease my temper. I'm sorry if i made u mad. I appreciate it. =)

Labels: Venting

- Fairy Games -

Labels: Written word

- Fairy Games -

Is the time of the month again... not that mine is regular every month but oh wells...feeling bloated, gassy, emotional, pimple outbreaks and the works. Lastly the worst of it all......... is feeling sexually frustrated!! argh i hate it. It doesnt help when you have to constantly worry bout leakage nor if its time to change ur tampon. Irritating. why dont guys have the same problems? women are always the ones suffering... oh the unjustice of it all. See... a sign of major PMSing blogging about stuff like this.

Madness i tell you. madness...

Labels: Misc, Venting

- Fairy Games -

I did it!! (no not whatever corrupted things u guys must be thinking.)

I finally managed to change my damn blogskin. and since i have a fetish for anything pink nowadays, i have a pink oh so sweet blogskin. Yes feel free to gag. But i am damn proud of myself. Its complete with a tagboard and links and whatnots. satisfied. pleased.

I miss my friends... waiting for the 22nd so we can go eat steamboat.

Labels: Friends

- Fairy Games -

Its 4.45 am and i cant sleep as usual. I'm tired physically but my mind refuses to shut down. damn i hate the feeling. Its one of those emo nights too... Saw that someone online and its almost 5am, wierd. Maybe i should delete her off my msn list so i wont see her nick at all. whatever... my minds playing games with me again.

Went to town spent the day with kenny. His b day... Happy Bday!!
ya anways, went to queue for doughnuts for her coz she skips her lunch almost everyday. And then bought mooncakes for her mother. She wanted UNIQUE mooncakes. so i pushed my way through the mooncake crazy crowd and pushed my way to look at all the mooncakes fro every where before i finally found unique mooncakes. Its so unique till i dont even know what flavours i bought. Tri coloured somemore. I hope it tastes as good as it looks.

Went for coffee session and now i'm super tired but cant sleep. Sigh i'll go toss and turn the comp's lights hurting my eyes. -_-

* I miss the smell of CK One. =)

Labels: Misc, Relationships

- Fairy Games -

Yes yes been lazy to update my blog. Stop complaining ppl....
I feel so pampered today. She bought me loads of stuff to surprise me. (pardon the super unclear pics)

This the piglet pillow she bought. I dont like the body though too small feels very delicate.

Chocolates!!!! super duper yummy. I am a chocoholic. I neeedddd and crave chocolates. *Grins*

Muffins. Coz i skip meals and have gastric pains. Unhealthy... thus the muffins. Theres strawberry, apple, blueberry, oreo, white chocolate and lastle double chocolate~!

I decided to eat the strawberry one first. Sweet and full of berries. what crap. am on a sugar high.
Half eaten muffin.

Labels: Misc, Relationships

- Fairy Games -

Love is Kind
St Paul says, “Love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4 TEV).
A loving heart is a kind heart. Thus a kind person strives to make others happy. When he does good work for others he is kind. A kind person blesses others and when he blesses others he blesses himself. Unfortunately, he often forgets to bless himself at home. He forgets to be kind to his family members! How? He performs with a sour face or neglects the family activities such as:
· Encourage each other
· Cheer each other
· Share time together
· Smile at each other
· Talk to each other
· Have meals together
· Help in the cooking
· Wash up after the meals
· Vacuum the home
· Hang up the washing
· Give up, readily, his favourite TV program to other
· Share the computer
· Give a listening ear, etc

Since all Christians are called and challenged to be kind, how do we show kindness? Kindness shows itself by being generous, compassionate, and friendly. A kind heart is a generous heart. A kind hearted person is generous with his time, money, advice and knowledge. His generosity is kind, when he does it:
· privately---done not to be seen by others.
· sensitively---done with great consideration for the dignity and the feelings of the recipient.
· unselfishly--done not to seek praise, publicity or rewards in return.

St Paul reminds us that, “Whoever shares with others should do it generously; . . . whoever shows kindness to others should do it cheerfully.” (Romans 12:8 TEV)
A kind person is compassionate and he seeks to ease another person’s pain. He takes the time to soothe another person’s anxieties, fears or anger. He uplifts the down-hearted and the discouraged with kind words. He knows that a kind word is often sufficient to make a sad person smile.
A kind heart is a friendly heart. Thus he extends kindness by being a friend. He shares their concerns and their sufferings. He listens patiently. He offers the glad hand of friendship and extends goodwill towards others. So do I hasten to search out his virtues whenever I happen to see his faults? Remember, there is no happiness like that of a person whose heart is filled with goodwill towards others.
One thing a kind person always avoids is to hurt others with his criticism and sick jokes. Although some people will take advantage of our kindness, we should never be afraid to be kind since kindness will do us no harm, brings us no bitterness and cause us no regrets. Henri Nouwen tells us, “Being kind is a human attribute. When we say, ‘She is a kind person’ or ‘He surely was kind to me,’ we express a very warm feeling. In our competitive and often violent world, kindness is not the most frequent response. But when we encounter it we know that we are blessed. Is it possible to grow in kindness, to become a kind person? Yes, but it requires discipline. To be kind means to treat another person as your ‘kin,’ your intimate relative. We say, ‘We are kin’ or ‘He is next to kin.’ To be kind is to reach out to someone as being of ‘kindred’ spirit.
Here is the great challenge. All people, whatever their color, religion, or sex, belong to humankind and are called to be kind to one another, treating one another as brothers and sisters. There is hardly a day in our lives in which we are not called to this.” (Bread for the Journey, Feb 4)
Yes, all of us are called to be kind so as to bless the people we meet. Thus we need to constantly remind ourselves:
Am I kind to the harassed check-out cashier who makes mistakes in my bill at the supermarket?
Am I kind to the driver who cuts across my path?
Am I kind to myself?
Can I be kind to someone who keeps interrupting me when I am at the computer doing something I want completed?
Am I gentle to displeasing people?
Am I tender-hearted or is my heart hard like stone?
Do I have to wound with words of retaliation instead of being kind?
When I am insulted do I answer back with kind words? St Paul says that, “when we are insulted, we answer back with kind words.” (1 Corinthians 4:13 TEV)
Here is how Max Lucado explains about the kindness of Jesus in the story of the woman with an issue of blood for twelve years (Matthew 9:18-22): “Later in the day a woman came by. Middle aged. Hair streaked with grey and pulled back. Dress was simple. Reminded me of a middle-school librarian. Face was wrinkled and earnest. Said she’d been sick for a dozen years. HIV positive. ‘That’s a long time,’ I said.
Long enough, she agreed, to run out of doctors, money, even hope. But worst of all, she had run out of friends. ‘They were afraid of me,’ she said. ‘Worried about catching the disease. My church hadn’t turned me out, but they hadn’t helped me out either. I hadn’t been home in years. Been living in a shelter. But then Jesus came to town. He was on his way to treat the mayor’s daughter, who was dying. The crowd was thick, and people were pushing, but I was desperate.’
She spoke of following Jesus at a distance. Then she drew near and stepped back for fear of being recognized. She told of inching behind a broad-shouldered man and staying in his wake until, as she said, ‘There were only two people between him and me. I pressed my arm through the mob and reached for the hem of his jacket. Not to grab, just to touch it. And when I did, my body changed. Instantly. My face rushed with warmth. I could breathe deeply. My back seemed to straighten. I stopped, letting the people push past. He stopped too. ‘Who touched me?’ he asked. I slid behind the big man again and said nothing. As he and the crowd waited, my heart pounded. From the healing? From fear? From both? I didn’t know. Then he asked again, ‘Who touched me?’ He didn’t sound angry--just curious. So I spoke up. My voice shook; so did my hands. The big man stepped away. Jesus stepped forward, and I told the whole story.’ ‘The whole story?’ I asked. ‘The whole story,’ she replied.
I tried to imagine the moment. Everyone waiting as Jesus listened. The crowd waiting. The city leaders waiting. A girl was dying, people were pressing, disciples were questioning, but Jesus . . . Jesus was listening. Listening to the whole story. He didn’t have to. The healing would have been enough. Enough for her. Enough for the crowd. But not enough for him. Jesus wanted to do more than heal her body. He wanted to hear her story--all of it. The whole story. What a kind thing to do. The miracle restored her health. The kindness restored her dignity And what he did next, the woman never forgot. ‘As if he hadn’t done enough already’--her eyes began to water---‘he called me ‘daughter.’ ‘Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace.’ I’ve been told he never used that word with anyone else. Just me.’ After she left, I checked. She was right. The kindness of Jesus. We are quick to think of his power, his passion, and his devotion. But those near him knew and know God comes cloaked in kindness. . . . Kind enough to bless a suffering sister.”
. . . . . “Jesus’ invitation offers the sweetest proof of the kindness of heaven: Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:2830 NKJV) Farmers in ancient Israel used to train an inexperienced ox by yoking it to an experienced one with a wooden harness. The straps around the older animal were tightly drawn. He carried the load. But the yoke around the younger animal was loose. He walked alongside the more mature ox, but his burden was light. In this verse Jesus is saying, ‘I walk alongside you. We are yoked together. But I pull the weight and carry the burden.’ I wonder how many burdens is Jesus carrying for us that we know nothing about? We’re aware of some. He carries our sin. He carries our shame. He carries our eternal debt. But are there others? Has he lifted fears before we felt them? Has he carried our confusion so we wouldn’t have to? Those times when we have been surprised by our own sense of peace? Could it be that Jesus has lifted our anxiety onto his shoulders and placed a yoke of kindness on ours? And how often do we thank him for his kindness? Not often enough. But does our ingratitude restrict his kindness? No. ‘Because he is kind even to people who are ungrateful and full of sin’ (Luke 6:35).” (A love worth giving, 25-26, 27) Here is what Mother Teresa says about kindness: “It is better to make mistake in kindness than to work miracles with unkindness. It is very important to be kind to ourselves and control ourselves by keeping our balance. If we want to live in peace and harmony with each other we must pay attention to our tongue. Especially when we deal with the poor we must be very careful in talking to them.” (The Joy in Loving, 18 October) “Be kind in your actions. Do not think you are the only one who can do the efficient work, work worth showing. This makes you harsh in your judgment of others who may not have the same talents. God will ask of that sister only what He has given her, and not what He has given you; so why interfere with the plan of God? All things are His, and He gives as He pleases. You do your best and think that others do their best for God’s own purpose. Their best may be a total failure--what is that to you? You follow the way He has chosen for you. For others also, let Him choose.” (A Life for God, 66) “If sometimes we feel as if the Master is away, is it not because we have kept ourselves far from someone? One thing will always secure heaven for us: acts of charity and kindness with which we have filled our lives. We will never know how much good just a simple smile can do. We tell people how kind, forgiving, and understanding God is--are we the living proof? Can they really see this kindness, this forgiveness, this understanding, alive in us?” (A Life for God, 65)

Labels: Gets me thinking

- Fairy Games -

如果你也听说有没有想过我想普通交朋友还是你依然会心疼我
为什么脆弱时候想你更多

this sentence gets to me everytime. I switched on my comp. SHE msged me. asking me something regarding her gf. F**K always when i least expected it. Sounding so cold and polite... didnt even bother asking me how i am or whatever. I hate it. More than anything at least friends? but noo... damn it lar. Got better things to think about.

Should i? should i not? Maybe i should pray for a sign from god. I'm at a crossroad and i dunno if i'm making the right move. which i havent been going to church for a long time...

(forgive me father for i have sinned.........)

Labels: Relationships

- Fairy Games -

Its been a chore trying to fall asleep lately. Its the trying to get to sleep part that is difficult. Tossing and turning, trying to will your mind to to think, seeing the first signs of light outside the window... its hard... and when i finally fall asleep, i dont wana wake up ever. So tiring and irritating. It doesnt help when i finally fall asleep at 6 plus am and i have to get up at 7.40am for tuition. It sucks... no amount of coffee helps either.

Been wanting to go swimming, need to lose weight... someone is hoping and crossing her fingers that i join her in flying. (if i can get super stick thin that is) hrm... i have been feeling a complete loss for words and inspiration lately. Birthday coming up soon...old... i feel wrinkles forcing ther way out. damn... i feel old. sighs... buy me some nice presents ppl!! lol

- Fairy Games -

http://www.esnips.com/doc/80058104-1abd-4538-89f6-6a10c49084f1/ruguoniyetingshuo

I am addicted to this song. I have been replaying it over and over again.

- Fairy Games -

My mind's in a blank. I dunno what to say...

......
....
...........
.....
.........
..

i have to be sure before i make a decision. i dont wana take things lightly nor want it to replace anything nor anybody. i dont wana lose the friendship we had either. i'm sorry if i hurt u. i need time to piece myself back together.

Labels: Relationships

- Fairy Games -

i shouldnt have logged on to fridae. damn it. when something tells me i shouldnt means i shouldnt. but i did anyways... and SHE sent me a heart. Not only that she had stuff written on her profile big big. i didnt click on her profile to view but the bloody thumbnail was good enough. i almost puked my gastric juices out. now i am pissed. SHE does it all the time. all the freaking time! flaunting and taunting me like i dont feel bad enough. SHE bloody hell flaunts it in my face!! argh.... seriously godamnit. I am not upset but i am pissed. Did i do something to deserve this crap u tell me? I killed her whole godamn family is it? I shouldnt get so affected though. Whats the point right? but it just makes my blood boil... i'm not upset. i'm not. i'm just pissed.

*maybe i am....sighs confused.

Labels: Relationships, Venting

- Fairy Games -

i'm gona post some photos up. coz it looks boring all words... so pics of the loves of my life.

the current love of my life until i find a gf, then they will be on par. lol but aint she cuteeee?? i wana stuff her and put her o the wall.

the very naughty cat. Drives me up the wall all the time. but still adorable...

almost like family. Dunno what i'll do without them sometimes. Girl power!

- Fairy Games -

Rat-a-too-ee!!

I want a cute furry rat who is clean and cooks haute cuisine for me too!
Birthday Present anyone?

Labels: Misc

- Fairy Games -

It's 3am in the morning and i am wide awake...
the night seems particularly quiet today. So much so that the silence rings in my ears. This is one of those nights where your thoughts will run, thinking bout everything...from your past, to the present, to the future. This is one of those nights. I must say that i no longer think of her that much. I will think of her less today and even lesser tml. Sigh this IS one of those long endless nights that i dread. I start to feel lonely and empty and i hate feeling that way.

*Its time to be a big girl now. And big girls dont cry.*

Labels: Misc

- Fairy Games -

I got kinda pissed last night. Coincidently i read something on someone's blog today which made me think. People listen... but they listen for various reasons. Some listen cause they genuinely care... some listen cause they feel obligated... some listen to pass judgement and comments... some listen to put you down... and i have learnt something while musing over this. I have learnt to filter and sort out people like that. Call it avoiding reality or escaping facts but for the sake of my own mental health, i have decided to ignore people like that. Nobody has the right to judge me. You havent been through what i have been through so DONT JUDGE.

ok there... i've vented. I'm a girl after all. A normal emotional girl. Though i may not talk or act vunerable, i actually am. Sometimes words do kill me and i cry myself to bed. So take heed of my feelings for i am but a girl.

Labels: Friends, Venting

- Fairy Games -

Someone wrote this for me in her blog...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Each time you laid and shut your weary eyes

You're doing it again.That thing where you fall for her

For that same despicable trick, for that same bitch numerous times over again. And every time you are left alone in the cold, in the dark to gather what's little that's left of you

I stood watching, helpless and angry,

I could only pray that your heart remembers how to mend, to put things back, to go on again.

You said you're sorry but I can't be sure.

If it was really so or if it was for you didn't inflict pain enough,

On yourself and everyone around

It's all smoke and mirrors.

You promise me you wouldn't do it again,

You promised me you would protect your heart

But you never did.

You never understood what I wanted for you

And I've told you, infinite times, picking the right circumstances, the right place.

There were times I've turned my back and each time I did, I regretted.

You're my friend, someone who have shared countless nights just talking with

You're my friend, someone I let in on my biggest pain

And you're dying, right in front of me, which choices you made, with paths you walked on.

I know I can't ask

I know I can't demand

I'm not you, this is not my life but if I were you, i'll quit. Tara used to tell me 'we can do this, you're strong, strong like the Amazon' and it brought a smile. She never ceases to amaze me.

So now I'm telling you the same thing, you're strong, you don't have to do this. You don't have to lead such a wrecked life like I do.

Often, there are words I can't say, emotions I can't reveal

And often time, I wish I did.

If words could just save you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I am struck dumb. loads of stuff i wana say but i do not know how to express myself.
But i promise girl... i will get her out of my system.
But u have to promise me to be strong too... coz u are slowly dying as well and it has been so long.

Labels: Friends, Relationships

- Fairy Games -

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it. The first time, virtues and vices wandered bored, not knowing what to do. One day, they were all gathered and bored more than even when Ingenious had an idea, "Why don't we play hide and seek?" And all of them liked the idea, immediately the mad Madness shouted: I want to count, I want to count and since no one else was crazy to seek for Madness, Madness leaned on a tree and started to count, 1, 2, 3...
And as Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung on the horn of the moon; Treason in a pile of garbage; Fondness curled up between the clouds; Lie said he would hide under a stone but he lied and hid at the bottom of the lake; Passion went to the center of the earth; Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.... And Madness continued to count, 79, 80, 81, 82. All the vices and virtues were already hidden by then, except for Love, whom as undecided as she is, did not know where to hide. And this should not surprise us because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love. And Madness was already at 95, 96, 97. And just at the moment when she arrived at hundred, Love jumped into a rosebush and there she hid out. And Madness shouted "I'm coming! I'm coming!" and as he turned, the first one he saw was Laziness, thrown to his feet because he didn't have any energy to hide. Then he saw Tenderness in the horn of the Moon, and Lie at the bottom of the lake, and Passion in the center of the earth. Discovering them one by one, finding all of them but one. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find the last missing one, until Envy, envious for Love not having been discovered, whispered to Madness: "You are lacking Love, and she is hiding in the rosebush." And Madness took a wooden pitchfork, and stabbed at the rosebush, and stabbed and stabbed, till a heartbreaking shout made him stop. And, after the shout, Love came out covering her face with her hands, and from between her fingers run two threads of blood, out of her eyes.

Madness, anxious to find Love had taken out Love's eyes with the pitchfork. "What have I done, what have I done!" He shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?" And Love answered, you can't restore my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you could be my guide. From that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness

Labels: Misc

- Fairy Games -

I had a visit from my mysterious muse tody. Thus the many posts... its one of those days i guess. Have some ideas for a story of some sort so i'm going to pen it down.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The storm raging on the other side of the window imitates the storm raging in her heart. She sat silently on her window still. Eyes filled with unshed tears. The pain a storm offered, brought her the necessary release,and gave life to deadened memories within her mind...


Deline, was still a young girl. Barely passing her eighth birthday and smiles used to come easily for her. She was three feet two inches with glowing green eyes that is a striking contrast against the stunning black of her hair.

Today, she found herself alone at the park again. The park was located directly behind her house and somehow how she always managed to find herself there alone, and away from her rowdy family. It was a wonderful escape. To her young mind the park was a magical place filled with bright colors and plenty of things to play on. However, not many other children were allowed to discover the joys of this particular playground. It was too far on the wrong side of town, but Deline was not bothered by this. She played alone and enjoyed the company she herself provided until one day a child crashed into her life...one that refused to be ignored.

Deline bowed her head, staring at the ants near her feet relishing in the silence that surrounded her. She could still hear the shouting and screaming of her parents at the back of her mind. She sat on a curb inside her safe haven and waited till the echos disappeared. She sat there oblivious to her surroundings till she felt something strike her calf. A searing pain seared throughout her leg and tore her away from her mental torment. Immediately tears welled in her eyes and she cried out in pain. She glanced up with tear glazed eyes to see a child with sun streaked cheeks. This small child gently took her hand in hers and said, " i'm sorry, did i hurt you?"

Deline managed a weak smile before replying, "uh-huh... but i'm ok now i guess." The girl's bright smile was all she could see, "Promise?"

"i promise."

(Two years later)
Deline sat alone at the playground at the very sopt she met cayley. She was alone now but she was certain that her friend would be there. She was always there.

After several moments an all so familiar voice broke through the silence, "Hey there loner." Deline's heart skipped a beat and she felt that all too familiar feeling at the pit of her stomach whenever she saw cayley. "Hey cay!" "So wana go play by the lake?" She asked while offering her hand to Deline. She took cayley's hand and both of them ran hand in hand till they reached the lake. Finally they reluctantly let go of each other's hands and ran to the water's edge. Still cayley managed to stay close by her side. The girls did not need to explain their feelings to one another because the gentle touches felt only right and both would have it no other way.

Even, thought Deline, If my mom and dad did beat me the day they saw me kiss Cayley on the cheek. She still had not told Cayley about this occurence, but did not intend to for she did not wish the kisses to stop.

The friends played by the lakeside for several hours splashing each other, and feeding the ducks until the sun began to set. They knew it was time to head home. They knew bad people came to play at the park after the night colors took control of their surroundings. They had seen the bad people with their smoke and weopons, and feared their mocking laughter. Cayley joined hands with Deline and led the way out of the deserted playground and up the pathway to their run down neighborhood.
The girls reached Deline's house first and paused outside the doorway to say goodbye. Cayley gave Deline's hand a firm squeeze, but instead of the normal tight hug, she pressed her lips lightly to hers. Deline looked at her friend, a confused expression writen upon her features, "Cay, what did you do?...."
Cayley cut off her friend's bemused question, "I'm sorry, De, I sholdn't have..." "No, Cay...It felt nice..Can we do that again?" Came Deline's soft voice seemingly like thunder in the silent entrance way.
Cayley's head spun as she kissed Deline again as soft as the first time. She felt Deline's lips touch hers in return, and nothing had ever felt so good to the young girl. She wanted to kiss Deline again, but knew she should go inside before they were caught again. She knew what Deline's parents had done to her last time and would not let it happen to the child she loved ever again. Not while she stood ready to fight it.

The years passed swiftly as the girls grew up together. Their first kiss had marked the bond Deline's parents had always feared, but Cayley was going no where. This fact annoyed the parents more. Leaving both helpless to watch their daughter's relationship grow. Everyday, it seemed, the day's adventures drew the girls closer to one another. Setting their destiny closer to heart.

(3 years later)
"Shhh, not so loud baby, we so do not want to wake your parents up." whispered Cayley into Deline's ear. "Sorry, I guess I got carried away." She rolled over in her bed and curled up against a half naked Cayley. The feel of her girlfriend's hot breath on her cheek made her twitch. {contemplating a sex scene but the girls might be too young. what do ya think?}

Labels: Written word

- Fairy Games -

Dear Heart,
It's been a long time since I had a conversation with you. I know you been through alot and still going through alot.
I kinda spent most of my time just leaving you there and going through motions of life. I didn't stop to think that decisions I made would hurt way worst for you. But here I fell for someone that ripped you to shreds time and time again.
I am sorry I didn't hide you away better, to guard you from this. I put you out there without really thinking what might happen.
For that I am sorry. But you know I swore to you that day that wouldn't allow that to happen again. I allowed her to enter you and now I can't seem to allow you to let go so we can move past this. But here I am saying that it's ok to let go. That we got the best part of her but in order for us to move on and continue living we have to let go of the pain that rests still in us.
So I ask you to first forgive the one that hurt you so. Then ask you to let go of one that still haunts you. That is hard task to do but I know that you are strong enough to go on from here. I am not asking you love again or let someone replace her. But saying that when time is right we both will know it. So my heart I say let's start living again and not going through the motions.

Sincerely your keeper.

P.s. I promise to be more protective of you in the future

Labels: Relationships

- Fairy Games -

Very uneventful weekend. Nothing much happening 'cept trying to tie up the loose ends bout my brother's predicament. Its kinda more of less settled i guess.
Wont be giving tuition this week at the children's home. Having school holidays.
So... i'll have loads of time on my hands with nothing to do.
Gosh... i dreamt of her yest. A sad dream i remembered.
I havent been seeing her go online these few days as well.. her gf's bday is coming up
not sure when but i'd bet she will be organising something.
My bday is in 26 days... she used to plan them for me. I dont know what i am going to do either.
I'm going to be 23... almost a quarter of a century old.
I've been thinking of her less... though sometimes the all so familiar pain in the left side of my chest comes and goes. It hurts so much to even breathe on those occassions.
I've been managing my emotions and feelings well... now all i have to do is get my life on track.
Get out of the confines of my room and computer. Thats all i ever do these days.
Even my parents have more life than me.
Sigh... Birthday suggestions anyone?

- Fairy Games -

I always laugh to hide the pain
I always laugh to keep my heartache
but it's not enough to laugh
It's not enough to be seen by others
smiling, like without any dilemma.
I just laugh when they talked about you
I just laugh when they asked me how are you?
They don't know we split up
I didn't say anything'cause they won't stop asking me why?
I wonder why we split up
Everything was fine and comely
We're both together all the time
You and me promised each other
But in just one snap...Still I keep on laughing
Pretending it's not true
As I laugh I didn't notice
Tears run down to my cold cheek
I was laughing...no I was crying
I feel like being crushed broken into pieces
I try to let out the misery but I can't, I'm too weak
I lost you because of thatI'm such a fool, isn't it?
Fooling myself believing it's Ok
You taught me to laugh at times like this,
Hope you've also taught me to cry to let out all the pain inside my heart.

Labels: Relationships, Written word

- Fairy Games -

ok... i do not know how to put my templates anymore.
damn damn damn
so till i figure it out, i'm stuck with this plain ole boring pink one.

i'm bordering on the brink of insanity. thats what everyone says.
I think so too... i'm dumb, stupid and totally completely obsessed.
Everytime i see her online in my msn list, i just stare at her nick till she goes offline
I know i know mad.
But i cant help it.
She comes crawling into my mind all the time.
My whole life revolved around her and now that she is gone,
i am lost, aimless...without colour.
god i miss her so much.
i guess behind all my smiles and cheerfulness
i am not really happy.
Its a front to stop people from calling me names, for worrying about me
for bugging me.
I just cant seem to get her out of my mind. And its killing me slowly.
the feeling sucks... i see her face in the crowds, smell her perfume on someone
skip a heartbeat whenever i see a red renault kangoo.
i know i need to get out of this
but its hard.. after giving her everything... after so long
its hard. i finally had my first proper meal a with ashley a few days ago
i havent been eating a bite before that
goodness i'm like wallowing in self pity
shit.
got a phone call will vent more tml.

Labels: Relationships

- Fairy Games -